Culpa Nostra !

Strangely, women still tend to believe that if only they were to make the right choices in life, things would be different.  If only they were to study technical subjects they would score higher paying jobs - ignoring the fact that all those women who twenty years before them opted for male dominated degrees and for instance got business degrees still haven’t reached pay levels equal to their male colleagues and are regularly overlooked for promotions.  

Another favorite of mine are those voices who insist that if only women were to be more assertive on the job they would get what they want.  If only they were to help each other more instead of being such awful bitches... 

Just be more like a guy, will you please!!  Just don't be such a man-woman!  

Yes, indeed, it is all their fault.  Why do they have so many children or else why don’t they have enough?  Why don’t they pursue professional careers or else why are they so career- driven to leave their families behind?  Why don’t they monitor their children better?  Hey, but how can they expect to be promoted if they work only half-time?

The funny thing is:  Women only too often buy it...!

Here is the little Birdie

We traditionally expect women to be more flexible, more agreeable, more cooperative than men.  With regard to adaptability and coping we consistently place the benchmark higher for one gender than the other.  Is that because men are the ones who set the parameters, or is it that we know that women will naturally try to fit in anyway.

It starts in childhood, when girls are expected to be more compliant than boys (and usually are) and wreck fewer things (they usually do).  As they grow up, we expect them to  align themselves with male interests rather than the other way around from sports to sex and what to watch at night (sports and sex).

Most likely later on in life, a woman will choose a supportive role in relationships and the family.  Whether she tidies up more, does the laundry and takes the dog to the vet.  She will probably be the one who will remember birthdays, favourite dishes and help out at the school bazaar.  

Even if women get to pick the house and sofa cushions, or possibly where the kids go to school, they usually defer to their partners when accounts are set up, pension funds are established and wealth is divided.  

When it’s time for the kids to move out (or when hubby decides to go on another prowl), women are expected to fill all  the gaps and to move back into the work force.  Preferably a supportive role, of course.  

And they usually do.  With a smile.   

Bad Apple

There is really no good reason why I just got another Apple computer and an iPhone 5.  I thought, of course, that by doing so I would solve all my software and compatibility problems - stupidly ignoring the fact that ninety percent of my problems are caused by Apple products.

We have had Macs for ten years now.  All have failed me in one way or another.  iTunes turned out to be awfully clumsy to use, iPhoto completely crashed on my labtop (no Apple wizard was able to fix it even when I sent it in), my USB ports all gave out (so I am working with external ones) and I am unable to copy files onto CD because my disc drive no longer works.  Is that normal?  

Shrugs.  Bad apples are everywhere.

For the time being, I have had my fill of marketing promises and the Apple Help Forum.  After three hours of password  entering, downloading, updating and problem solving, my frustration tolerance has reached its limit.  

Time is precious.  Apple is not.

No Easy Time

It seems that the longer a society experiences peace and stability, the more likely its social cohesion is to weaken.  

In the immediate wake of war, a degree of social leveling can be observed, where the haves and have-nots are brought together by the shared misfortunes of violence and destruction.  A society pulls together by forming solidarity pacts on local and even national levels that transcend differences.  

Carefully crafted identities tied to income, heritage, education and religion are overcome for the common good.  The trauma of suffering is shared by all and acts of compassion by those who are more fortunate than others provide a bridge between the camps.

But this empathic phase usually diminishes within a generation.  As peaceful times provide the basic needs of shelter, food and clothing and welfare systems see to the provision of secondary goods such as healthcare, education, and safety, cohesion erodes.  Social strife supercedes social collaboration.

These dynamics can be traced throughout human history.  The peaceful Beaker Culture was replaced by warmongering societies whose chiefs bolstered their prestige by amassing precious metal works.  

Great civilizations were not immune to it and in fact generally thrived on the exploitation of many by few - that is unless they failed to provide the basic necessities, which then would lead to civil uprisings, revolutions and coup d’Etats.  Examples of this abound and often mark the cornerstone of a new era, such as the beginning of the Roman  Republic, the drafting of the Magna Carta, and the passing of the Code Napoleon.  But none will withstand our competitive nature - the call of the wild.

After the extensive rebuilding of civil society in the aftermath of two horrific wars, many European countries experienced a phase of social stability and shared prosperity which culminated in the nineteen eighties and early nineteen nineties.  However, a gradual erosion has set in since as we witness income gaps increase and wealth distribution curves move away from the median.  

Primatologist Frans de Waal likes to evoke the image of the empathic ape in making an argument for our human potential to build empathic societies.  However, I tend to keep to a  an old adage when dealing with humans:  trust is good, watchfulness is better.