Deeply Divided

Halloween is an American thing and most Brits politely decline to partake in it. But some of them really really like it and do so in a thunderingly quirky way. In fact, if they could they would be living Halloween every day.

So while the residential streets look just as discreetly blissful as always, clubs are rivaling for goriness. All I have to do is to wait another eight years to introduce my oldest one to the concept. In the meantime let's get out the knives...

Paradise

We all want different things for ourselves, but we all want something at any rate, whether that is a slick roadster, Siamese cats, better sex, a PhD, or ten pounds less to haul around.

Most of us would probably agree that they want love in their life, maybe even children, while others are okay with settling for a decent way to spend their time on this planet.

Wanting something is what gets us up in the morning. The lack of want is often associated with either depression or a mythical place called paradise.

But imagine you got up in the morning and the one and only thing on your mind was the paradox of wanting absolutely nothing.

My question is: would you be able to make it through the day?

Or would wanting nothing at all be too unattainable a goal because suddenly one would become aware of all the little things we want in a day like, say for instance, undisturbed sleep (and nipples!), or taking a dump unwitnessed.

After ten years into the mind-changing business of raising children I am proud to declare that I am fine doing without the undisturbed bathroom routine.

So I am beginning to think that I must be hitting paradise any time now!

One button at a time

Jules made me appreciate our little daily triumphs: feeding everyone, blowing noses, drying tears, sums of ten, and finding socks, because there he was putting all his efforts into getting that one button through the button hole, trembling with the effort, his little ears a flaring red.

Straight Thinking

Zoë has started to tune her ears into the morning news. They are on as soon as Matt enters the kitchen at eight o’ clock. But while Matt listens selectively and usually intuitively skips whatever might trouble him, she doesn’t.

Every sound bite enters her nine-year old auditory channels and is swiftly forwarded to her decoding center which is quite active. The little cogs and belts are churning away as she processes news bits, such as: nineteen year old arrested for torture and murder of a 37-year old Lithuanian woman, suspect arrested for the rape and killing of a seventeen year old girl on her way back from school, fourteen year old sexually assaulted and strangled by her driver.

And as always, all of this is conveyed in a matter-of-fact tone in under three minutes i.e., before she gets a chance to see her Weetabix cereal bloat up with milk and to sink her spoon into it.

Mind you, this is on a good morning.

I have made daring stunts across piles of Lego and castle extravaganzas from remote corners of the house to slam the OFF button at the story of babies being slaughtered, and pregnant women raped and mutilated in front of their children.

If she thinks as straight and unfettered as she does when jotting down a math equation, there are only few logical conclusions for her to draw.

None of them are reassuring.

This much we've learned

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
M. Twain

Last Chance ...

It was only a dream. It was completely surreal but at the same time so very sharp and to the point. In it I was somehow caught in a purchase dilemma and I almost fell for it: I almost had my toe nails pulled for the mere reason that I was told that it was my last chance to do so!!

But, as luck had it, I was last in line. Throngs of people where pushing towards the booth with the enticing last-chance-offer and I happened to be nowhere near the lucky ones in front.

For a moment, cold panic took hold of me. What if I was going to miss out? What if I was going to get stuck with my toe nails sadly stuck to their beds? A worrisome look at my toes and the still attached nails made me re-assess the situation, however.

Was there any trouble with my toe nails? Granted, they could need a little trim around the edges, but I had proven to be quite capable of doing that myself in the past. No need for yanking devices and fees charged for services rendered.

So while people ahead of me were still pushing onward to make their way to the booth, I slowly withdrew from the crowd only to wake up in my bed, toenails and all still intact...

I really liked that one!

"Excellent!!"

I believe that it is our fear of failure that makes us pressure our children to excel and be nothing less than excellent.

With that much more ‘excellence’ around every generation, the bar has been pushed higher and higher since the 1970s: more homework, more exams, more exclusive (and expensive) schools...

Children lose their childhood years to memorizing random facts and cramming for one test after the other - and I am not just talking about China.

But why do we seem so nervous about the future of our gene pool? Why the clenched teeth and pulled up shoulders? Is it maybe because at the age of 38 we as parents feel outsmarted? Is it because we already are being out-competed by somebody only ten years younger who is willing to apply his IT conditioned brain for even longer hours?

I admit it can be scary, but fear has rarely proved to be a good guide for decision-making.

As it is we are ruining our lives and those of our children by dedicating the few precious years together to night time homework, tutoring, and pre- and post exam anxieties.

And the pressure is rising on homeschoolers as well. So far I am fairly resilient but I wonder how long my bastion of pig-headed opposition is going to to hold up. The force behind this insanity is pretty formidable.

The Case for Sarah Palin

(...and this one is going to be really short!!)

Believe me it doesn’t come easy but I will stick to my principle that true equality is only achieved when as many incompetent women occupy positions of power as do incompetent men.

But did it really have to come to this???