Can't do without It

“I still love you,” Matt tells me and it sounds as if he was noticeably surprised that after fifteen years of bearing children, scrubbing stoves and occasionally kicking doors I am still able to conjure up that deep seated emotion in him.

Maybe it is surprising. After all, familiarity can breed contempt. It is not an easy feat to stick together throughout the slime of childbirth and running noses, the grime of dirty bathtubs and worn-out underwear and the occasional (very occasional) bad sex.

Bad Apple

EU regulations have clamped down on apple producers in the UK over the past years. There seems to be a standard apple, call it Braeburn, Fuji, Gala, or whatever, that everyone in the EU is supposed to want. All other varieties are out. It’s really much like the British school system...

Isn't that Cute!

Watching the weather forecast last night we were informed that a "benign and blissful spell of autumnal weather" was headed our way. Nicely put, Sir Weatherfrog, very much so indeed.

Ouch!

I suppose I should have seen it coming right then, when she downed that horrible tea I served on her first visit. Her upper lip was as stiff as the brew I had concocted. Formidable.

Since then we have exchanged many friendly words on the street, strawberry baskets and raspberry jam, and Lea left a number of drawings at her doorstep and wrote a ‘Get Well’ card when she fell ill last Spring.

It was always a nice surprise to run into Mrs. Bumble on the street, or as she was turning the corner on her way back from the mailbox, or when we all were lining up to buy some organic produce from Weller’s at the Wednesday market.

It, therefore, came as somewhat of a surprise, when her little beady eyes went cold on me the other day, as I was joking about the leaky ceilings of the supposedly elite Grammar School I had just visited. “Why don’t you go home to your country? Why don’t you go back to Germany?”

Touché.

Seeing how Britain treats its less fortunate citizens, I sometimes wish I could.

Imagine That

Girl graduates and lands well-paying job with great benefits right out of school. On-the-job training, and monetary rewards follow. By the time she is in her late twenties, she has contributed a good amount to personal IRA and 401K and she is ready to sign a marriage contract with her partner who will help her through the years of parenthood, which naturally will affect her in more ways than him. Her boss and colleagues will send her on to her two year maternity leave (with full benefits and Social Security contributions), telling her how much they look forward to promoting her to a part time junior management position when she gets back, because they value the experience as multi-task talent, emergency responder, ad hoc problem-solver, and mature team player that she will gain. When she replies that she appreciates the offer and will consider it (given her partner’s flexibility in sharing in paid and non-paid work), they look relieved and grateful. Their future is in good hands, thanks to and not despite of the female life cycle.

Oedipal but really sweet

Jules: I like your mudgy arms.
Hmmm. (Is it really THAT bad??)
Jules: I like your big fat butt, Mom.
It IS that bad!!
Jules: Can I give you a kissy. Kissies
are happy and tickly.

SIGH!