Gone fishing

I am off to check out the beaches on other shores since they are kind of rocky here...I will check in with you.
:-)

Zoe says...

“Sometimes when I have figured something out I am ready to start all over again like a white sheet of paper that life scribbles on.”

You probably know someone like this...

Someone who feels eternally misunderstood and unappreciated and who is quick to point fingers. Someone who cannot take feedback because s/he already feels beaten down by the world. But also someone who feels criticized when they are not, and lashes out with the conviction of the unjustly treated...the victim. Ah, what a superb position of power.

Have you ever tried to stop someone like that?
Have you tried to come to their rescue by explaining the world and setting right what was wrong, maybe even by profusely apologizing for an unintended perceived transgression? Has it worked? Has that person taken off their tainted glasses and said, “Oh, now I see clearly. I was wrong. Thank you.”? Really, be honest, has it worked for longer than the duration of one tense luncheon?

Have you wondered?
Have you asked yourself all these questions starting with “why,” like “Why does s/he always....” and “Why can’t s/he....”? If you have you might as well stop right there because there is no answer other than: “Because s/he wants to.”

For someone suffering from low self-esteem, the role of the martyr/victim is one of self-redemption. Assuming that role, proclaiming to be the target of unfair attacks and ill-intended actions, opens the door to retributions against an unfair world, and then accusing, judging and condemning it. It’s their last stronghold. Give it up? Never!

I have seen people go berserk with vitriolic diatribes against alleged aggressors. There was no stopping them. It was their moment to shine...the darker the world around them the brighter their bolts of lightning appeared.

What’s left?
The effect of this kind of negative self-indulgence on the surroundings, especially immediate family, can be devastating. Relationships are strained and may eventually crumble under the stress. It is sad and can be extremely frustrating, especially for close relatives. I have been a witness to this kind of dynamic for many years. I can assure you the force of destruction is formidable.

So what now?
Leave the theatre. Don’t be an audience to a bad performance. And it’s always a bad performance when someone assumes a self-righteous position and points fingers in every direction proclaiming themselves the one and only victim again and again.

Leave the theatre. It’s a colossal waste of time and energy. And let’s hope you didn’t have to pay for your front row seats.

That's not a fair lie !

Groomed by Western marketing and product promotion, which often involves tricks, including air brushed models and crafty photo montage, the Chinese went ahead and creatively promoted their Beijing 2008 Olympic opening ceremony.

So what’s the big brouhaha? They went too far? Is it that? They went darker than black on the lie scale?

Really, let’s be fair...they were pretty good. After all, we all believed them.
But that’s probably it. It’s never fun being at the receiving end.

Boohoo!

Changing Signs

Someone has been doing the walk and not just the talk. Signs are popping up here and there that reserve strategically located parking spots near store entrances for women with small children.

Whether it was due to organized lobbying by unnerved mothers or smart business thinking by store managers, what’s important is that times are changing and with them the signs.

Change, however, usually takes a while and so far I have only spotted a few of these signs around the US and England (mostly in front of baby supply stores).

But I think there is hope that maybe in a few years from now, wobbly toddlers won’t have to be dragged in tight motherly grips across sweltering seas of asphalt while dodging the bumpers of the octogenarians’ chariots. And mothers won’t have to be reminded again and again what was meant by the ‘weaker sex’ as they haul their well-fed infants’ car seats towards the queue of shopping carts beckoning in the distance like a fata morgana.

It’s great when something you always wished for actually happens, just like red roller skates under the xmas tree. A Big Thanks to you out there who made it happen...and sorry Santa, I don’t mean you...not this time anyway.

Keeping Shit from Happening

Much of parenthood is about anticipation. It’s about anticipating what may happen and then about avoiding all the unwanted turns of events from actually happening.

Unwanted can be anything really from spina bifida to spilled apple juice, knocked out teeth and broken toys, bad posture, bad boy friends, bad attitudes...you name it.

Keeping life under control is a very strong impulse inside us. But predictability is the first thing that falls by the wayside with the arrival of a mini human. Pregnancy can be quite an eye opener in that respect, since the vagaries of life manifest themselves only too boldly during those nine months of anticipation.

Yet, we try to make ourselves believe that we are in fact in charge, and that after all we do hold some invisible golden thread in our hands that pulls luck onto our side when needed.

Over a life time we accumulate a fat pocket full of tricks to use in the event of trouble. Anything from religion to social networks, access to information, and money can be summoned to keep the worst from happening (like that bad boy friend).

But what about all the rest? The daily skips and bumps, the heart breaks and runny noses, the ripped pants and flat tires, and above all, the dozens and dozens of glasses of spilled apple juice?

Well, there is not much we can do about them and maybe it’s good that way. Life is life after all and shit is bound to happen.

Buckle Down

What I like is this: towns you enter and the first thing you see is NOT a Shell station or a car dealership but maybe an overgrown church yard or a pub by the name of ‘The Queen’s Tale’.

But what happened to the rest of the world? Everything is about cars: Fields are being eaten up by winding snakes of asphalt. Trees that line old roads are cut down so drunk drivers don’t hit them. Parking lots sprawl everywhere.

Even shopping nowadays means driving, and driving means seat belts and car seats, and subsequently confinement.

It’s strange what we will put up with for the sake of so-called convenience.